![]() ![]() The only problem is that he has to recruit students. “Can I go back to my family now?” he pleads, after signing a lease that Johnny scrawled on a crumpled up Applebee’s napkin. Johnny ends up somewhere affordable and it’s the public park, after some random stranger tells him that it’s free and they can do whatever they want there. As the Hillbilly says, if it’s in LA, it’s going to be expensive. But, as we’ve learned, it doesn’t seem like any of these dojos operate on a great business model. He thinks because it’s such a dump it will be affordable, but the Beverly H Hillbilly renting it tells him it will be $3,000 a month, which is about what one would pay for a small East Village studio, so it’s not that bad, actually. Then he goes to see a roach motel of a warehouse that might still have asbestos in the uncleaned corners. Yes, there is no way he could afford somewhere so nice. Then the Realtor wants to run his credit and Johnny says he would rather not. He goes to see a sick gym with a sauna and a juice bar and the Realtor is like, “Let’s sign some documents.” And Johnny just wants to do a handshake deal because, obviously. However, when Johnny goes to rent a new dojo the show decides to show us what the world is really like. I mean, there is no way that there would be a karate melee in a high school like the end of last season, but we just choose to accept that. One of the great things about this show is that it is totally ludicrous except when it decides to be shockingly realistic. Get this girl in a gee and breaking boards already! Love Yas,” she inscribes, making him instantly cool again and showing that she can use her Regina George powers for good instead of evil. Luckily, in the episode’s most touching moment, bitchy hot girl Yasmine takes pity on him and finally decides to sign his cast. (Hey, Ass Face is the show’s nickname, not mine!) Slim Jim is being especially mean to Dimitri and draws a huge dick on his cast, which would be funny if it wasn’t so mean. Hawk is hanging out with the new Cobra Kai crew and they’re a whole bunch of jerks, especially Slim Jim, as I like to call the former wrestler that beat up Ass Face last episode. Seriously? He was out of school because he was in a wheelchair? What, are there no ramps at this school? Is it not ADA compliant? When he returns he finds that things are really not to his liking. Now that Miguel can walk again he has to go back to school. Yeah, tell that to her best friend Aisha, whose salary the producers couldn’t afford this season. As Daniel tells Sam, you are never alone. But I watched them and learned a valuable lesson. That story took up most of the episode, and if I weren’t contractually obligated to watch every second of every episode - that’s journalism, folks - then I would have fast-forwarded through all of those scenes looking for fights. ![]() Finally, after all of that, Sam comes back to karate and does some bo training with her dad like she’s Donatello. Miyagi story about overcoming fear, which she has probably heard 15 times by now and is probably sick of, because I know we are. Instead of that she has to go on a fishing trip, then to a random sports stadium, then listen to another Mr. What I’m trying to say is, get over it Sam. Miguel learns to walk again in a week with the help of one training montage while Johnny sits on the couch looking at old skin magazines. Yeah, I get that in real life it would have been traumatic for her to go through all of the aftermath of the school fight. The whole storyline where Sam is scared of the Cobra Kai kids and having nightmares about Tory drowning her in a koi pond was totally lame. Well, this episode we were in the drink because sincerity won out. We love it because it’s both, and when one of these two poles fall out of order then we all fall into the drink and our bad haircut looks even worse all wet. We wouldn’t love this show if it was just inspirational speeches or if it was just meta jokes about itself. It’s a delicate balance, but rather than a balance between a spoiled girl and her boyf with a bad haircut, it’s a balance between sincerity and irony. The brilliance of Cobra Kai is just like that training exercise in season two, where Sam and Robbie have to balance on that weird raft thing in order to fight alongside each other. ![]()
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